Let's make a long story a bit shorter. In January 2012, my gynecologist found a mass in my left breast. She told me it was a cyst and not to worry about it. Fast forward to October 2012, after it's gotten a lot bigger and tender to the touch sometimes. I had an ultrasound and the radiologist said it looked like a fibroadenoma, a common cyst in women my age. I needed to have it watched since sometimes they end up really being tumors. I went back in April 2013 for my 6 month follow up appointment. The mass is much bigger, and the shape has changed a bit. One radiologist wants me to have a biopsy. I go to a different radiologist to have the biopsy done, and he takes one look at it and says no way, no how. I needed to see a surgeon because it was growing too much and he wanted it out.
Well that escalated quickly. Needless to say I was a bit overwhelmed!
The surgeon couldn't see me for three weeks, and I was leaving for El Paso the next day. I decided I would just have to fly back for my consultation and the surgery. Those three weeks were hard. I had never had to think about my life in terms of how short it could really be. I had really optimistic doctors who told me I'd probably be fine, but just that little percentage of a chance that everything could not be fine made it really scary. Seeing the concern in their eyes was scary. Having the receptionists scheduling my appointments saying, "Well this sucks!" was scary! With that, and being myself, my anxiety went through the roof. There is so much that I want to do still. I am 24 years old. I want to be a mom. I want to be with my husband. Why did I ever waste time doing stupid things? I have such an amazing life, with an amazing family, and gosh, it would be really, really hard to leave it.
I found solace in my prayers and in reading the scriptures and conference talks. I read Henry B. Eyring's "Mountains to Climb" talk over and over again. It a fantastic one, and you should read it! click here! It encouraged me and taught me that now is the time to build and use the faith I have in my Heavenly Father and His plan for me, and that all of our trials are for our good! I poured my heart out to my husband, who comforted me and counseled with me.
I recited this little pinterest find in my head a lot as well.
Finally, I came back to Utah for my consulation. Dr. Tittensor (haha, how appropriate right?!) was incredible and really put a lot of my concerns to rest. She just so happened to have an opening for surgery the next day, May 29th, so the next morning my mom, my sister, and my grandma came to the hospital with me. My aunt is a nurse at American Fork hospital and she was able to be there with me too! I had a lot of strong awesome women to get me through my nerves. I've never had surgery before and I wasn't sure how I was going to feel or what it was going to be like! I was also really tired because I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning, and looking up videos of lumpectomy's on youtube. They actually ended up calming me down a little bit, because it looked so easy and so fast! I couldn't have had better nurses, anesthesiologists or a better surgeon. They were perfect and before I knew it, I was up and it was over!
Pre-op! I was so ready to have it over with.
After surgery. I was definitely loopy from the anesthesia and pretty sore, but felt better than I thought I was going to!
My amazing husband had to stay in El Paso to work and he felt so bad he couldn't be there. He has been so great about calling and texting and making sure I am feeling alright. I got these beautiful flowers from him yesterday that made me just love him and miss him even more!
Now we just have to wait for the pathology to come back on the mass and then I can go back to El Paso! Dr. Tittensor said she would be very surprised if it was cancerous, which makes me feel like everything is going to be okay :). I was also nervous about how the incision was going to look, and it's amazing to me how small and precise it is!! The scar should fade and eventually I'll barely be able to see it.
I'll keep everyone updated when I get the path results back, but I just have to say thank you to my incredible family and friends. You've made this so much easier to get through and I can't imagine doing it without you.
Love, Katie.
